2 YEARS!
i still cant believe it. that two years ago tomorrow was the day that i miscarried our first child. i can feel it shutting down on me. i can feel it just breaking me. i remember the feeling i felt when i realized i had my a miscarriage, and i lost my baby. the feeling you cant put into words. feeling that you can never explain unless you go through them yourself.
its taken me a LONNNG time to get through this. i am still not through it. i have my notebooks the i right to haydan, and joey.
i also have to write to baby kraemer, who we still havent sat down and thought of a name for. and it was in july when we lost the baby. ya i know 2 miscarriages. its just been to hard to deal with. no one but my sponser, and ben know about the second one. i can begin to describe the failure i feel when i think about the fact that i lost two babies. how i must have disappointed ben. it kills me.
but... just but...... hehe wouldnt you like to know.
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