the cry of a mother.

the pain is still there. its still in the back of my mind.

everyday.

my two little children i can never forget. two little children i will never get to hold.

the thought of not being able to see you can be to much to bare.

i dont show it most days, because it just to hard.

everyday its a constant reminder of the two sweet faces that i dont have.

Everyday.

i know you are in heaven, and i know you are looking down.

i know your world is a better place, but sometimes i get selfish and wonder to myself

Why??

why cant i be the one to take care of you, and hold you.

arnt i good enough?

I sit and i wonder how this person or that person even be called a parent when

they dont even want to be.

i sit and i wonder there has been nothing more than i ever wanted.

to have my own family.

What did i do? where did i go wrong? i dont know if i can ever feel

normal..

the pain is soo real. and man it hurts so bad!

i wonder what you doing now, and how it is in heaven.
i wonder if it really has nice as i can imange. i bet its even better.

i wish i knew your smile, and i wish i knew your laugh. 

nothing anyone can say, can take away that pain.

the quilt i hold inside.

Everyday.

everyday i hold that pain. every day i hold that quilt.

i will be ok. someday. right?

least that what they tell me.

just know that you may be in heaven, but you mommy here on earth

Loves you beyond measures and somday we will meet again.

ps. tell joey i love him not a day goes by

i dont think about him.