my weekend and a little bit AA..

 This weekend was a very good weekend. Saturday i didnt do much at all but hang around the house. i have been feeling very off with my stomach lately and that was one of the days, but sunday was my grandparents 50th wedding anniversary- and man oh man was it a good time, these pictures dont even begin to describe the time we had. Long time family friends surpised us and came with there girls that i used to babysit. yes ME... i was sixteen when i would babysit.  than we all went back to my moms house for a bit and caught up a little bit, and what not than ben and i went to mateus house for it was also his birthday party that we kinda missed but we wanted to make an appearance. and it was nice to see them and what not.

 I know i posted earlier about it being my 7 month sober anniversary... that was on friday, today at my meeting i got my chip for the seven months. i cant believe thats its been seven months. its been an amazing journey so far, but its been a HARD journey too. it feels like its flown, but it feels like its going by sooo slow.  but i am taking the ONE DAY AT A TIME.. i can do this. i am not giving up. i didnt put all this work in to give up. i start the steps with my sponser very very soon.. i wanna start like next week.. i need it. i am ready!

Seven Months! Seven Months and to be honest its the most happiest and realiest time i have EVER been. i am allowing myself to find the person I AM. i am allowing myself to find DANIELLE CELINE KRAEMER!   and i love the person the REAL danielle.... i dont think i have ever known the real danielle. i was always scared of the real danielle, the danielle that had to face reality. Is it bad that i am itching to go on a commitment? I am because i know part of the program is to reach out to someone. even if its just ONE person, One person that hears my story. my story of experince, strength and hope.. than i am ok. For them to know that i can do it, so can you.. today, this moment.. one step at a time, one moment at a time.. one day at a time. 

i wish i can look the old danielle, the lost and confused danielle in the mirror and just sit down and tell her, you are going to be ok. things are going to be ok for you.. you just have to push through it. it may suck right now, things may be all messed up, but you will find yourself, and you will grow [cause i am STILL growing and i am STILL learning]  that the smalls things in life, it wont matter- its not as bad as you think. the hard things in life, will come, it will devasted you- it still does.. but you will be ok. you will carry on. i am not perfect today, it progress, not perfection...

its not months its not years, its 24 hours that add up. its the one day and one step in front of the others...