GOD is sooo good! Today i had a full day where i just surrounded myself with the Lord. i did some bible studies, i listened to some sermons by james macdonald, i watched the movie fireproof. I cant begin to tell you the feeling i feel inside. I dont feel alone. i dont feel scared. i feel like i can conquer anything. its an amazing feeling. God is so good. and i truly believe i can say that i can give my 110 percent love and devotion to God. i want to be the power of example. i want people to look at me and say i want what she has. i want that. i not scared anymore to show who i am, or what i believe in. at the end of the day, its GOD who will be doing the judging..
Now the most important thing i need to do is find a church where i can call home. i dont want to be at a church where my in laws go [cause i always feel like a outsider there, i feel like i am stepping on there territory...] i cant go back to leominster assemly, its not the same anymore, and plus its a long drive- i am thinking about giving the church righ nown the road in streling a try again. i liked it, but i got caught in going to hertiage. dont get me wrong hertiage is a awesome church.. but its just not MY church. its Laurie and Wayne's church. I dont think it will ever fully be MY church. i need some place where people dont know me. i need to make my own friends. find my own bible study around here.. hopfully not on a monday tuesday or thursday considering that when i have my aa meetings. but i just know that i need God in my life more than ever, and i am crying out to him. i am ready to be that example.
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